Difficulties couples face when one partner comes into a relationship with a child from another relationship

Difficulties couples face when one partner comes into a relationship with a child from another relationship and the couple then has a child of their own.    This has been a common theme I have encountered many times recently and sadly it can be very mismanaged.  I am sure that in our rational minds we would all agree that any child needs to have the highest consideration; and to be put above anything else/to come first.  [...]

Love Languages in couples counselling

How do I show my love for my partner that resonates with him/her?  Gary Chapman wrote an invaluable book called The 5 Love Languages. (the secret to love that lasts). This is my summary.  They are:  Words of affirmation: these are little words of encouragement and praise, compliments, and to someone who needs to hear the words, they are especially important. I find the more specific the words are the more they mean to the partner [...]

Covid stress and how it is impacting relationships

As a relationship counsellor I am witnessing firsthand how the ongoing pandemic is affecting our relationships.  It does come down to resilience. What is resilience and how do we build more resilience in ourselves and in our relationships, you may ask?  Resilience is our ability to adapt to change and to bounce back when things don’t go as planned. People who are resilient don’t become victims and dwell on failures; they take stock of the situation [...]

Ideas for couples in lockdown

In these trying and uncertain times when you suddenly find yourselves stuck together for lengthy periods it is a good idea to set up a set of rules to live by.  So that we don’t all get down and demotivated lets agree to:  Stick to a routine  - have a set bedtime and time to get up each morning. Weekends can be on a different schedule. This allows for more normality. Keep weekends less structured and [...]