Raising children can be tough. Raising children with two different parenting styles can be tougher! Learn how to navigate these partner challenges here.

This is a common theme arising lately and exacerbated due to the long winter covid lockdown.

The way we live in the world since covid has changed. More couples find themselves if not working from home, at least working between the office and home. 

So there has been more involvement of each parent or at least an awareness of the children’s schooling due to all being under the same roof. This in many households has led to much tension and strain.

Different parenting styles is an area where many variables are involved……. 

It comes down to effective communication, understanding how each of you were parented, exploring value systems, and establishing family rules, supporting each other – and all of this involves compromise. 

Complexities can arise when it involves a stepchild. Blending two different families can be challenging. 

 

Different parenting models:

Is there a dedicated carer in the couple, for instance, after having your baby has it been decided that you would take some time out from your career to take care of your child, while your partner is the main financial provider? 

Or are you a couple that is very equal and wants to as much as possible have all your experiences and commitments shared? For example, a couple where in the morning the one does all the morning routine, breakfast and gets them to school, when in the afternoon the other partner picks the children up from school gives them afternoon tea and takes them to after school activities and starts homework.

By dinnertime, it could be shared by one seeing to dinner and the other getting the children through the bathroom and finishing homework, and then there is a shared getting them off to bed. 

There is obviously more than one way to do anything and finding/navigating your way through the challenges together, speaking, hearing, and becoming the “united front” is the best way to negotiate your way through to becoming effective and consistent parenting role models.

Refer also to previous blog- Difficulties couples face when one partner comes into a relationship with a child from another relationship and the couple then has a child of their own. 

 

There are 3 different styles of parenting: 

Authoritarian – this is seen as strict parenting. The parent is very rigid with rules and demands respect and uses punishment to teach children lessons. 

Permissive/Laisse faire – this is seen as indulgent parenting where parents give children plenty of freedom with little structure. 

Authoritative – this style of parenting has reasonable expectations of their children while understanding how to provide support. It creates the healthiest environment for a child to grow up and fosters a meaningful relationship between the parent and child.

How can nbrelationship counselling guide and assist you?

By exploring your values and beliefs and with active listening giving you each time to explain your perceptions in a safe and nurturing environment. 

These are difficult conversations to initiate and having a neutral third party to mediate in a safe space and in allocated time, asking the right questions allowing understanding of each other’s perspectives and following through to a compromise is an invaluable experience. 

If you would like to receive help in navigating these types of situations or have any questions, please contact me on 0414529030. I can support you in maintaining strong relationships and coping with such challenges. Alternatively, you can drop me an enquiry here.