I recently had the pleasure of assisting a young couple with coming to a decision on how to resolve several ongoing conflicts that were causing them to argue, without any resolution.  They were all to do with future goals and decisions.

The couple highlighted the areas of disagreement and concern. I heard what each of them wanted and both of their reservations. I got them to explain everything to me in detail. We looked together at the pros and cons of each argument, and then I made what I considered realistic suggestions. 

This got the couple to negotiate with each other until we reached what each believed to be a fair and reasonable solution. 

What the one party asked for was that they come to a resolution, and he called it, “Set and Forget.” What he effectively wanted was that these issues would not be brought up again for several years, until such time as they would be relevant and need further consideration. 

Both parties agreed to this. They both agreed on the future focused goals. If asked by others, they would agree on what these goals were. 

I got them each to write out and send me a copy of the agreed goals to keep them both accountable. 

Both in the couple have had to make sacrifices towards working to set this future focused goal. 

They can now “set and forget” and get on with their lives, having reached agreement on these future focused goals. 

By being the mediator/facilitator between the couple, it helped them to address the issues in a safe and confidential space and forced them to each consider their positions and then reach a compromise. 

The couple found it very useful and will be returning to work through other conflicts, where they hope to get to the resolution of, “set and forget” once again.